Here are some expressions / terms I’ve heard (in the wild) lately. I was (very) familiar with some of these, but a few are new to me:
“He was such a good lawyer he could get a charge of sodomy reduced to following-too-closely.”
“Boy, I’m gonna slap you naked and hide your clothes.”
“Boy, I’m gonna jerk a knot in your tail.” (variation: “in your head.”)
Dragonflies described as “snake doctors” and a myth that when they fly near you it is important to close your mouth because “if he sees your teeth, he’ll sew your lips shut.”
I hear stuff all the time at work and have to write it down. One of my favorites is, someone was trying to get out of here “faster than a cricket in a minnow bucket”.